I ended up not being as upset as I thought i'd be after yesterday...

...so we are going to just forget about the last few posts.

2023 has already started with a large bang. I've been putting far far more time into twitter than I have with newgrounds. The art forum isn't doing great right now so I haven't had much reason to gremlin scuttle my way through the forums in general. I haven't had much to say either so there's that. I dunno...just been doing my own thing I guess.

If you weren't aware, I have a twitter now and it's actually been going great so far. I've gotten over 150 followers in like 2 months-ish and not all of them are bots. I have gotten to talk and "moot" with a bunch of other art people and that's been wonderful. I've gotten to twitter follow a bunch of artists and I get to see all sorts of great stuff that I wanna rub my eyes all over. I seem to have attracted a lot of gals too, which makes me feel weird cuz I don't want people to think i'm some kind of harem weirdo (i'm just a regular weirdo). I've been trying to make friends with people and i've got some that i'd love to be friends with so hopefully those relationships develop into something great (i'm very hopeful).

I'm surprised at the amount of MINORS i've run into on twitter too. I thought there was an age you had to be older than to even have twitter, but i've seen plenty of really young people (13 - 14)...like wtf? I've avoided them like the plague and you have to be 18+ to follow me and 21+ for me to "moot" with you.

Something I haven't talked about here at all is something brand new: I have a discord now! I've been trying to get my twitter pals into it with varying success and we are up to 11 people myself included. My ultimate goal would be for people to wanna talk with each other but for now it seems like they only talk to me. I don't know how to make a good discord so it's gonna be some work. I haven't finished setting up everything but if you want an invite and are 18 or older, hit me up. Try not to be such a weirdo tho if you get in plz. I wanna have fun events where we can watch anime together or play art drawing games (or regular ones) or w/e.

I'm getting excited for the future for once.

My twitter

My Discord : You have to message me for an invite or I have to invite you.

It's officially an entirely new year.

There are A LOT of things I wanna do "artistically", but there are even more things I NEED to do for myself in general.

I cannot go another year like last year. Never in my life have I felt more alone than I did in 2022. This year, i'm going to go hard towards finding my "forever friends" (you know how they say an animal gets their "forever home"? its like that but for me and for friends). I'm 33 freaking years old. If I let this year play out like it wants to, it's only going to be even worse and I don't think I can take another horrible year.

I can't ignore my toxic sludge brain ANY MORE. It's gone too long unchecked and practically ruins everything I do now (or in my case, don't do).

If this is the end for me, i'm not going to roll over and just let it happen. I'm going to go down swinging atleast.

Merry Christmas to all my followers and frenz and everybody!

We did it, bois.

I did something really bad...

It would be cool to break 200 followers before the end of the year. I dunno if we're gonna get there, but it would be cool if it happened.

Trying to shake off the drawing cobwebs, but been getting distracted by various things. I haven't really drawn anything for over a month now other than some scribbles and lines n such. Now that all the November holidays are over, hopefully it'll be easier. I have some ideas I wanna try n bring to life. Maybe there will be some magic laser battles or something. There are some things I made previously that I wanna bring back. We'll see.

Secret Santa is starting. I'm excited to see who I got. That'll take all priority until I finish it like it usually does.

I said I might try to do some of my dear senpai's de(mon)cember thingies or w/e it was called. I'd say atleast one. After that is done, we can think about doing more. It's never a good thing to say you're going to do a bunch of them but only finish like one or two. We'll see.

I don't have anything else to say or show. I'm very grateful of all the birthday wishes I got. Hopefully there will be a few finished arts to show off before the year ends (more than just the SS obviously).

I am very empty right now.

I can't make myself do much anymore.

Haven't uploaded anything in almost an entire month.

I can't even sharpen my mind up enough to think of something to draw.

I have my tablet within reach at all times pretty much, but I can't seem to make myself even try to draw anything.

I tried to stay away from NG, but it's a much harder thing to do when you have no one else.

I've tried some discords, but they're either almost entirely dead or people aren't in your timezone and you only get a few hours with them if you're lucky.

It hurts so much.

I can't even get back to a neutral mood anymore.

There wasn't much to it before this, I won't lie...

...but I can see my world starting to crumble down all around me.

Thank you for reading my emo post.

Unless you didn't, in which case, you suck.

The master is out...

No one is here right now...

I'm so miserable I literally don't even know how to describe it anymore.

Everything is just a distraction from it. Nothing makes it feel better.

Seems like I can only ignore it for so long before it comes back...and it comes back even worse than the last.

I want to curl up into a ball on my bed and bawl my eyes out, but I can't even let myself do it for some reason.

I don't even get to draw anything I want to. Had to start another OC thingy. Really wish I hadn't done that, but it's not like I have any energy to think of anything i'd want to draw.

I'm gonna run out of sad gifs at the rate things are going.