Merry Christmas to all my followers and frenz and everybody!

We did it, bois.

I did something really bad...

It would be cool to break 200 followers before the end of the year. I dunno if we're gonna get there, but it would be cool if it happened.

Trying to shake off the drawing cobwebs, but been getting distracted by various things. I haven't really drawn anything for over a month now other than some scribbles and lines n such. Now that all the November holidays are over, hopefully it'll be easier. I have some ideas I wanna try n bring to life. Maybe there will be some magic laser battles or something. There are some things I made previously that I wanna bring back. We'll see.

Secret Santa is starting. I'm excited to see who I got. That'll take all priority until I finish it like it usually does.

I said I might try to do some of my dear senpai's de(mon)cember thingies or w/e it was called. I'd say atleast one. After that is done, we can think about doing more. It's never a good thing to say you're going to do a bunch of them but only finish like one or two. We'll see.

I don't have anything else to say or show. I'm very grateful of all the birthday wishes I got. Hopefully there will be a few finished arts to show off before the year ends (more than just the SS obviously).

I am very empty right now.

I can't make myself do much anymore.

Haven't uploaded anything in almost an entire month.

I can't even sharpen my mind up enough to think of something to draw.

I have my tablet within reach at all times pretty much, but I can't seem to make myself even try to draw anything.

I tried to stay away from NG, but it's a much harder thing to do when you have no one else.

I've tried some discords, but they're either almost entirely dead or people aren't in your timezone and you only get a few hours with them if you're lucky.

It hurts so much.

I can't even get back to a neutral mood anymore.

There wasn't much to it before this, I won't lie...

...but I can see my world starting to crumble down all around me.

Thank you for reading my emo post.

Unless you didn't, in which case, you suck.

The master is out...

No one is here right now...

I'm so miserable I literally don't even know how to describe it anymore.

Everything is just a distraction from it. Nothing makes it feel better.

Seems like I can only ignore it for so long before it comes back...and it comes back even worse than the last.

I want to curl up into a ball on my bed and bawl my eyes out, but I can't even let myself do it for some reason.

I don't even get to draw anything I want to. Had to start another OC thingy. Really wish I hadn't done that, but it's not like I have any energy to think of anything i'd want to draw.

I'm gonna run out of sad gifs at the rate things are going.

I don't really have anything to say.

There's nothing to update anyone on.

I don't have anything to post.

I feel like absolute shit.

I'm in great emotional pain.

It's becoming a much more regular thing.

I dunno how much I have left in me.

[EDIT]: I was an awful person the whole time apparently and I didn't even know it. It's all my fault. This is what I deserve I guess...

I'm not doing a good job of holding it together right now.

The lonely thoughts are starting to creep back in and take over.

I just got out of bed like 15 minutes ago and what should I see when I clicked on newgrounds? Why, it was another milestone hit...

We hit 150 fans! I'm just as surprised as you are. Who would have thought 2 years ago when I started doing this that i'd have 150 fans at some point. I cannot thank you all enough for pressing that small little orange follow button. It means a lot to me that people actually want to look at my "artwork?" and not instantly projectile vomit all over their computer screens. I hope I can get even better at arting n such in the future so that the art is better and people can enjoy it more.

Please accept these headpats along with my deepest gratitude

SEPTEMBER UPDATE

I'm going back to the once a month updating thingy, but the latest milestone threw things off so I have to make it now I guess. I haven't been able to do any experimenting or anything like I wanted. I've been busy doing a thing and I have to finish it first before I can do other stuff. That's the reason I haven't uploaded anything substantial either. I have to finish and then i'll be free to do w/e I want again. I ADD'd too much and it took a while for me to get it going, but i'm almost done so yay for that.

In the meantime, i've been gathering more references.......a lot for MALES! GASP! OH EM GEE! I still want to switch things up and do something different than just gals all the time, like I said I did. Having the motivation to actually follow through however is the hard part.

That's kind of it. I traded up to the Switch OLED model since I don't think a new switch is coming any time soon. I still have a mountain of games to play through (many many RPGs). Maybe some of them will give me some new ideas n such. I dunno.

I wanna draw

I wanna color

I wanna create